Doing It Exactly Right

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sometimes i feel like i’m doing it all wrong. 
things don’t add up. 
mistakes are made. 
problems come up. 
stresses arise. 

but i recently had this thought: what if i’m not doing it all wrong. what if, actually, i’m doing it exactly right? 

for isn’t it these moments of indecision and frustration and problems arising and choices going wrong that most often shape, mold and create us into being better and more solid beings? 
after all, without challenges and having to figure out problems, we’d never have a chance to grow.
so then, wouldn’t all of the wrongness, all of the mistakes, all of the this-isn’t-rights actually, in fact, be the opposite?
think about it. 
give yourself some grace.
you probably deserve it.
because even though you feel like you’re doing it all wrong. maybe. just maybe.
you’re actually doing it all exactly right. 

Chris + Karli | A Rainy Rehearsal Dinner

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A rainy rehearsal dinner on a humid summer evening before a beautiful and love filled wedding.
It's evenings like this one that reenforce the love and passion I have for my job and documenting people's stories. 
Chris and Karli and their family and friends were such a joy to be around during all of the festivities of the weekend.
I'm sharing a few of my favorites in black and white because, to me, they mirror the feeling and mood of the evening. 
Enjoy.

The Things We Do To Find People Who Feel Like Us

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an album title i came across recently that struck me.
what a thought provoking string of words.
people who feel like us.
it’s a comfort thing. an i-want-to-feel-safe thing. 
a feeling that makes us feel at home.
i think it can have connotations of a dangerous closed mindedness, an inside a box and too-much-the-sameness to it. 
but i think a lot of the time it can be a good thing.
people who are similar to you.
who share the same passions, interests, likes, dislikes, ambitions, plans, dreams. 
it helps foster challenge and growth. an ability to spur one another on in our journeys and pursuits that we share together. similar in and of themselves or not.

i’m grateful for those people i’ve been able to find who feel like me.
who are there for me through countless obstacles, trials and inconvenient times. 
and it’s interesting too to think about how i found them. what i did to go about finding them. the actions i took. whether intentional or unintentional. 

like striking up a conversation with a stranger in line for a concert.
responding to a text message.
taking someone to grab coffee.
introducing myself to someone.
accepting a last minute job offer.
going to a new place by myself.
asking to take someone’s photo.
saying “oh yea me too”.

these are all things i’ve done that have resulted in finding the most wonderful people who i can’t really imagine my life without now really.

it’s a good thing to think about i think.
so that i don’t stay inside my little box and comfort zone, and i am more open minded and malleable and in a position for change and new opportunities when they present themselves.
so that i can continue to grow and be challenged and find more people who feel like me.

Kinder

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i've learned how to be kinder to myself.
more forgiving.
allowing for faults and discrepancies and mistakes.
extending grace.
embracing imperfection and a need for a change of scenery, mindset and routine every so often.

i take deep breaths
i draw myself baths
i take myself to the movies even when i might be the only one in the theater
i buy myself foods that might not always be the healthiest
i light candles
i push away from my desk even when there's a pile of work on it
i close and turn off all of my screens
i make time for exercise
i don't make time for exercise
i sleep in sometimes
i take off my shoes and walk barefoot
i don't always wear makeup
i go to those just-for-me places
i treat myself to things i don't always need
i go for a walk late at night or early in the morning or whenever the mood strikes me

i'm kinder to myself and in turn that helps me be kinder to others.
because what goes around comes around.
so they say.
i do find that mantra is especially true in this case though.

A Study In Color | Switzerland

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Forever catching trains

Endless good food

A boy named Sven

Cully Classic Music Festival

Paddle boarding

A place a daughter of a sailor feels right at home

Blue

 Via Instagram

The Events At Dusk

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whispering fading darkness. 
your favorite light is the light that can equally belong to the dusk and the dawn because, if you didn’t have a point of reference, you could close your eyes and open them again and not be sure which time it was. 
the familiar feelings aren’t present, and so the present ones make you feel like a stranger to yourself, but not one you altogether dislike. 
you miss them. you miss them in their familiarness. but you aren’t sure if that’s an alright thing to feel. whether it’s a sign of set back, of being stuck, or a sign of moving forward, of growth.
there’s the smell of smoke.
there’s the feel of grass on bare feet.
there’s the vision of blurry lights strung in the trees.
your altruistic turned mercurial ways. 
the events at dusk.